Chapter 7 - Take It a Step Further
- Now compare it to the passage passage you wrote for the warm-up of Chapter 1 or first journal writing.
- Talk about the comparisons and differences in each draft of the work?
- Ask yourself, could you use this passage to enrich that earlier piece? Discuss with your group what portions of the Chapter 7 draft you will use to enrich your Chapter 1 draft?
- Mark your draft and identify where the changes may happen and or be enriched.
-bright colors
ReplyDelete- wings
- flying away from the dark
- wind
I see a bird flying through the wind. The wind is sharp, brisk, and heavy. The bird is flying to a place that is brighter than the previous one. A place where there are light colors and not dark ones. The dark colors are behind the bird. The bird feels free, he feels at peace. I think all people want to be like a bird. Constantly trapped in the dark colors and patiently waiting to fly away.
In the first free write, I wrote about how I see a mix between sadness and happiness in the book. I wrote today about how i see chaos and organization as well as a bird. I talked about the colors I saw as well as the mixture between certain elements in the painting. I feel like I am more open to new ideas because I see different things in the picture and am more creative. I can use my ideas and emotons behind the painting and even different works of art.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write I talked about the colors and shapes and was very vague with describing what I saw. In todays free write I was more broad, and included more detail and description. I think I am able to make my writing sound more descriptive and really explain and describe what I see happening in the photo.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write I noticed that I related the cover of this to my family and being at home more than I did in the free write today. I realized that the first free write took place at the beginning of the school year when I was really missing my family and everything seemed to relate back to them and being at home. In today’s work it has really shown my growth as an individual because today I was able to write about the simplicity of the cover rather than overseeing that with my own personal emotions. I definitely think I can use portions of both the original free write and today’s free write to make something very interesting. It will have the best of both words if they are both used because they are very different from one another. The main thing I want to include from today’s free write is where I mentioned that the illustrations seemed so free and simple. I think looking at things with that perspective is always good include because simplicity is honestly a key to life.
ReplyDelete“ i see colors and shapes”
ReplyDeleteThat’s all i put for the first time i looked at the image.
For this time i put “ I see a chameleon-like creature, in green, i see lines of symmetry and shapes”
This too could be a little bland however digging more into the picture I believe i noticed the animal and the lines of symmetry that the shape had. The only difference was that i seen the animal this time around and not the first time and more lines of symmetry, the picture also gave an illusion, because I didn’t notice the animal until this time when we looked back on it. I did more thinking this time around compared to the first. I could use the passage to enrich my earlier piece only to some extent.
In both of my drafts I talked about how the cover can be seen in so many different perspectives, and I talked about how one person can interpret the pictures in the drawing differently just as they can interpret the stories differently. In the first writing I went into more detail about how no perspective or interpretation is wrong, and I did not mention this in the second writing. Personally, I think that my first writing was more descriptive because it was one of my first times seeing the cover. Now, later in the year, I've seen this picture many times, so it's hard to see it as creatively as I did before.
ReplyDeleteIn the first draft I talked about colors and shapes. I feel as though now I am able to explain my thoughts with distinct words and vocabulary. This is due to the fact that I understand elements of speech including diction better. I am better equipped to describe what I see more clearly, rather than use baseline descriptors to attempt to portray my thoughts. I think that I can use this passage to enrich the previous draft by adding better descriptive language.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I wrote about the cover I had kind of briefly described it and the second time I wrote about it I had really talked about the description of it and what came to mind when I saw this. Some comparisons were I had kind of wrote about more than one thing in the article and I did this both times. Some differences were that I had changed the way I wrote. I wrote more what I saw and felt rather than what was actually there. I could definitely use this passage to help with the first chapter 1 assignment. Some changes would be rewording and expanding my thinking. really going into detail on this.
ReplyDeleteMy chapter one draft and chapter seven draft are very similar. Both drafts talk about the colors, shapes, and detail of the book cover. the difference between the two is that the chapter one draft is kinda in poem form, the words are coming fast with few pauses. In the chapter seven draft, the structure is more like I am telling you what I see instead of showing you with words like I did in the chapter one draft. I think the chapter one draft could help my chapter seven draft by making it more fun to read.
ReplyDeleteAbby Ford
In both of the free writes I talked about how they make me feel free. In the second one I talked about a bird and how the bird was flying away from something that was tying it down. For me, birds are one of the most free animals. They can fly anywhere at anytime, no matter the circumstances. In both pieces I talked about the colors of the book cover and how the colors symbolize different moods. At the bottom of the book cover you see dark reds and more black and at the top of the cover you see more blue and pink which shows me that the bird is trying to find a new place where they feel at home. All they see is light, positive colors and there are not being tied back by the darkness of their past.
ReplyDeleteIn the first draft I wrote I was a lot more involved into my writing and a lot more descriptive compared to my latest piece I feel like i was just writing to turn it in and that was it. It shows in the length that i wrote Aswell, but i also feel that may be due that i have prior knowledge of what i already wrote this isn't my first time writing about the cover I've already wrote about i felt.
ReplyDeleteIn my first free write I really had no structure to what and how I wrote. I wrote the first things that came to my mind such as the different colors thrown across the page and the different shapes and images that those colors created. After writing todays free write instead this time I could finally see beyond the surface level ideas and colors, I could finally see the deeper meaning behind this piece of art and what it meant to me as well. In this free write I spoke about the creator behind the art and the ideas that possible came across them and why it turned out the way that it did.
ReplyDeleteIn my first free write I was very descriptive and stayed focused on the image describing the colors and shapes and the emotions they evoke. And then in the second one I began writing about the energy and chaos I feel that the image gives and compared the image to a storm that gives equal energy and chaos. My second piece could definitely enrich my first piece bringing that creativity and and comparison in to develop the feelings I discussed to a deeper level.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write, I solely focused on how everything was just all over the place and represented this class with its creativity. Today I focused on how abstract the drawing was and the things I saw within the drawing. I also focused on how although it was abstract, it still had a central theme to it. I can use my new ideas within my old piece to help analyze the piece better. I can also open up to more ideas and maybe add in emotions or other topics.
ReplyDeleteIn both free writes, I talk about the bright colors and how I see images of nature. The writing I did recently was more elevated though because I showed more of my own emotions in the writing, I didn’t just talk about urgency, I also talked about comfort. It gave some duality to my feelings, that I didn’t just feel one emotion when I was observing the picture. I also began to see the center of the picture differently. At first I saw a creature but it later became to be a symbol. I saw the symbol as a message and reflected back to life. I started to see it more in depth, not just the tip of the iceberg. I think just not hesitating to show how I feel and what I think it means made my writing more rich, even if it isn’t a huge step.
ReplyDeleteThe first free write I wrote it as a free form poem, utilizing a lot of shot alliterations, and a heavy amount of repetition. In this freewrite I wrote more of a short essay. I feel both worlds could be used to improve each other, and I feel my capabilities as a writer have not grown, only my openness to write as my self has
ReplyDeleteIn my first passage I didn't really know how to express my words. It was a lot of thoughts just thrown together. Sometimes that's okay when writing but there was no organization. I also feel like my thoughts weren't as specific. There was just no correlation. I like to think I got more comfortable with writing and at that point it was a little unknown to me. I think it takes a little while to become comfortable with your own thoughts and words.
ReplyDeleteThe warm up I wrote for chapter one talks about the beauty of the world, and what color and dreams bring to life. The second journal entry I talked about writing and how the color and darkness relate to styles of writing. In both drafts I talked about real life things, like oceans, birds, or land. I also talked about joy and creativity in both of the stories. I talked about how that comes from the color. The last thing I did alike was talk about the sliver of darkness within both of the stories. Yes, I could use the stories vision to help the first draft I wrote on the cover. I would use it to make it longer and to further my opinion on how color is like stories, but also like the world.
ReplyDeleteFor the first journal writing I wrote, it was asking me what my name means. I talked about all the experiences that has resulted in my name being called. I talked about why I am called my name. For this recent journal, for some reason I came up with a place and time that I had never experienced before. I wrote about how the picture made me feel as though I was in the 60s. Although these two prompts are different, I seem to write about some part of myself in both of them. In the first prompt, I talk about myself. In the second prompt, I unknowingly talk about what I am interested in and what I wished I had experienced. I think that both of these drafts can learn from one another. What I know with both of these is that I feel most comfortable talking about my feelings, interests, or memories.
ReplyDeleteIn my first freewrite, it was a lot longer. However, I wrote about how other people might perceive the cover, not only how I feel about it. This time I feel like I was more focused with what I was writing about which made it shorter and more concise.
ReplyDeleteFor the most part my free writes were the same. Both talked about how the picture relates to the title of the book and how everyone can interpret it differently. They also both talked about how even if you’re not trying to interpret what the picture is, your brain is subconsciously thinking about it every time you see it and open the book, and how that can kickstart your creativity. The only difference in my first free write was that I talked about how each time you see it you could see a different image in it or get a different idea. And how that’s beneficial because it could put you in a different mindset or see something from a different point of view so none of your pieces and reading are gonna be the act same.
ReplyDeleteBerkley Berryman
DeleteI find it interesting that I wrote about a similar topic when I had pretty much forgotten what I had written previously. The difference was format. In the first one I had a free flow of emotions about how the cover was symbolic of my own mind. In the second one, I assessed the image itself, diagnosed it, and ended with a more subtle form of saying I relate. I think they both could help each other. The second writing helped me be more concise and thoughtful, but the first one helped me be more reflective and introspective. Both pieces of the puzzle are inside me, they just came out differently after learning new styles and gaining new life experiences. I really enjoyed this assignment.
ReplyDeletemy first time writing about the cover of the book I focused more on the physical details of what I saw. I pointed out what I thought the painting looked like and how I imagined the shapes to come together to form a picture. For the second free write, I wrote more about the originality of the painting. I pointed out how the image can not be re-done because of how eccentric and creative the shapes and colors are. It looks almost like the painter just flicked her brush around with no plan on how to paint it. I focused more on how the title of the book relates to the image.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write, I wrote about how the painting reminded me of childhood. A time where i felt free and innocent. I wrote about how each color brought back a memory of my childhood. Then I wrote about how the colors have turned grey now. In my recent one I wrote about how it feels like I’m looking at a parrot now.
ReplyDeleteAlexis Craddock
DeleteThe first journal I have is the name origin. How I wrote then is not how I usually write. I was holding back what I thought, probably from nerves. I stated that I didn’t like my nicknames but I love all of my nicknames, even the embarrassing ones. I also connected my name to Hannah in the Bible. Hannah cannot conceive children so the lord blesses her. I feel like the Lord has blessed me so much.
ReplyDeleteI had a lot of similar thoughts and points in both of my drafts but I think that my technique improved from my first to my second. My use of descriptive words and details is better in the first one so I definitely could have elaborated better on my second. I was more general as far as detailing the picture in the first but I elaborated more about the abstractness of the picture in my second free write.
ReplyDeleteI found myself to be more positive in my first writing on this topic but also found myself using the colors blue and green and that was it rather than the amount of colors I mentioned on this most recent one. I found myself making more in depth comparisons to specific things, i find myself a but scattered right now so my writing is appearing that way as well this time i believe. I talked about schools in the first one, i dont even think i mentioned either in this most recent writing either. I could use the negative aspects to enrich my earlier topic to have that conflict of negativity and positivity in the same picture causing for a clash in the art work ,hence making it more interesting to me because conflict.
ReplyDeleteMy first analysis of the cover told an in depth story, connecting a part of my childhood to the piece. But my second analysis asked questions like why? where did this meaning come from? what made me think of it? I was looking into why we find the meanings we do in certain works. The second time around I take a mildly sceptic approach, asking why we must find meaning in something to view it as beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write I tended to lean more into the abstractness of this cover and what that meant to the person who created this cover piece. I also talked about the colors and the meanings behind those in both pieces.
ReplyDeleteIn the first write I was trying really hard to pick apart everything in the image. I was trying to place each corner and area of an image into a category. I pulled out shapes and figures and discussed each color as its own entity. Now, I focused more on the harmony of the image as a whole. How all parts work together to create the image.
ReplyDeleteMy first passage and the most recent one i just wrote are both similar in idea. They both use some of the same descriptive words such as "creative, colorful, ect". In the first passage i connected the picture to "creative writing" and how it represents it but in my second passage i related the picture to our imagination as a whole. I believe that i can use my new ideas of imagination as a whole and connect it back to how your imagination can then effect your writing.
ReplyDeleteSo I think that with my first writing that it was very close minded and didn’t really know how to open up my mind to different things. With the recent draft I think that I actually was able to get my word out more and be open minded. With what I have learned this recent draft is way better and I definitely thought I improved with a lot of different aspects. This draft would definitely enrich my past draft by a long shot. I feel like I didn’t do terrible on my first one but it definitely wasn’t as good as this recent one.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIn my first free write I talked about the colors and the shapes what they looked like, this time I went more in depth about what I think all the colors and undefined shaped are trying to represent.
I actually wrote a lot more for the first freewrite. In my response from August, I chose to pick smaller pieces of the cover art and talk about the relationship between the art and symbols in my life. I included much more internal dialogue in my first response, though I think both freewrite responses are equally descriptive and accurate of my feelings toward the cover of the book. I just so happened to take a more wholistic approach the second time I looked at the cover of the book, choosing to argue that the entire cover represented one thing whereas the first time I saw several smaller things within the piece. In both responses I use the word “fantastical,” which I found interesting and not because the piece isn’t fantastical, because it is a beautiful expression of color, but because it is not an ordinary adjective to use. The one thing I think I could use from my first draft to enrich my second response would be the use of internal thought and dialogue. I like that when I was rereading my first response, I could remember my thoughts because I included them in my submission. As far as enriching my first response with my most recent, I think I could write in second person to make it sound more personal and like a conversation.
ReplyDeleteIn the first freewrite, I told of many stories. Chaos ensued as I wrote on, but the differences in the pieces seem to be minute. The way I described them was similar in nature but wasn't the same. The concepts the same, but the image I saw was different. The first time was when looking for a focal point in the painting but the last time, I allowed the picture to flow and look at it as a whole instead of many different parts.
ReplyDeletein the first draft, I simply described the art-- how it was random, bright, etc. In the new draft, I connected this art to a memory from when I was young. I would look at the clouds and try to form my own pictures within the clouds. I found myself doing the same thing with this art. I think making connections to form a deeper meaning makes my new draft better.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write I talked about how the cover is like an abstract art piece and how writing is also represented through it, it can be creative and represent whatever you want it to. Today I was able to talk more in detail about this; how writing can be unique and expressive, how writing can either be dull and boring or bright and exciting depending on the reader, how the writing piece can be easy to understand or more abstract and harder to get the message, how the writing process itself can be overwhelming like the piece when you're trying to get all of your different thoughts to cohesively fit together. I think that I have become better at diving deeper into my ideas and thoughts, my ability to explain how I feel about a piece has become better.
ReplyDeletethe first draft I wrote more about the colors and the more superficial, surface view of the cover. Looking back on it, my second draft was more so on the "why" of the art- it was much more analytical.
ReplyDeleteIn the first passage I did chose to use my favorite piece which is a personal essay. I wrote about what emotions this book pushed me to feel and then wrote about a time that reminded me when I felt those emotions. This time around I explained why I like writing personal essays and reading back on my first entry just solidifies that for me because I am able to express myself in the best way. I could definitely use this to enrich my first draft because I could develop more of a setting and focus on one story this time. I could also create a conflict to further the plot of the story.
ReplyDeleteMy first writing sounded like a prediction of what I think the meaning of the cover is. I talk a lot about what I saw in the cover (colors and shapes). I also talk about what message the cover is trying to relay to the audience. My piece now, I talk about what I notice the most about the color. I mention the shapes and colors. I also talk about how I believe the author is trying to tell us a story but I can quite figure it out. Overall, I think my writing then and now is similar.
ReplyDeleteIn my previous writing I attempted to describe how the various shapes and colors created an image that depicted chaos and disorder. As I look at the image again I see different components that fit together in order to create an image that expresses a deeper meaning. Although my works were different in perspective, they both describe the various shapes and colors and what I can infer from the image.
ReplyDeleteMy first interpretation of the painting was one of poetry and imagination. I saw it relating to wheat we would be learning and how we are able to interpret other writings in our own way. Now, I wrote it more literally as I saw it and how that image is used as a guide to help me as a writer see things differently.
ReplyDeleteMaddie Curriera
DeleteThe two types of writings are very different and hard to compare. Although the first free write had a lot less detail that my most recent one, and I feel like I was kind of trying too hard. The flow I was trying to go for does not flow really at all. Now after practicing writing a little bit more I can see how my writing has changed since then.
ReplyDeleteMy first piece was focused on analyzing the individual parts of the cover while my newer piece focused on the cover as a whole. My first piece was all over the place, but my newer piece was more focused and flows better than the first one. The first piece is random ideas followed by other random ideas, while the newer piece is random ideas that tie into the other random ideas. Both talk about the chaos of the scene but the old one analyzes the chaos while the new one describes it.
ReplyDeleteAfter comparing the Chapter 7 draft with my Chapter 1 graph, I noticed they had a difference of tone, however, there were still similarities between both. I like that they are similar because it shows that I've formed an opinion about this piece of artwork within my own mind. For instance, I talk about the personal choices of interpretation in both drafts. I could use my Chapter 7 draft to add more detailed descriptions of the piece itself, as well as more vivd imagery.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write I spoke about more general terms and was undescriptive in my analysis of chapter ones cover. This time I was able to examine it in more depth and see the picture more clear as a whole and actively describe the parts
ReplyDeleteThe first free write, I wrote about how it made me sick and nauseous looking at it, and I still agree and I wrote about that again. But I went into more detail the first time because it made me upset looking at it. And then it went into my hatred for another girl and how I would love to run her over with my car. I think this time I was more confused but last time I was angry. I was upset it looked like that, and I couldnt understand what it meant. But I was also upset that the girl is at UK and I hope I never see her ever again.
ReplyDeleteIn the first free write I wrote didn’t have as much detail than the second one. I like how we looked twice at it and you learn how your brain may look at things differently than the first time you see somethjng.
ReplyDeleteEmma caudill
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