Chapter 8 - Memoir Revision - Investigate
You have drafted an anonymous memoir about a person you hate or a person you are afraid of. Work with a peer to make your essay better. This conversation will be a guide for revision.
Consider:
1. Cause and effect relationships. What is the cause for the discontent? What was the effect?
2. What are the immediate consequences of this negative relationship? How does the relationship immediately effect your thoughts and behaviors as the main character of this story?
3. What are the long term consequences of this negative relationship? What is "really" at stake? What could ultimately go wrong?
4. Why should the reader of this piece invest their time and energy in this work?
5. Why should we care and why do we care?
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ReplyDeleteThis is a person I dislike. She was my bully in high school. Junior year and senior year she would come to my house and ding dong ditch me. She would prank call me and cal me fat and ugly. She would then proceed to make fake accounts on instagram and start rumors about me. She also made a tik tok about me. Although I did really hate this person, it made me laugh at some of the things she would do. The reason that she would do these things is because she was obsessed by my boyfriend at the time. He hated her just as much as I did. She does go to the same college as him and I went there and visited a few of my friends. I ran into her we talked for a whole hour. She apologized about everything and regrets what she did. I told her that I was over it and that if she wanted him, now she could. She said that she is over him as well and we then talked about how bad he hurt me. Although I did hate her, and still kinda do, it brought us together and now have a similar hatred for him.
ReplyDeleteThe cause for the disconnect was repeated dishonesty and disrespect. The effect was no longer having communications with that person. The immediate consequences for the negative relationship are no longer having support and comfort from someone who is easy to confide in. The long term consequences aren't necessarily bad. Cutting off this person gives a chance to better be able to hold your head up high and realize how strong you are and that you are someone who deserves and should demand respect.
ReplyDeleteI love myself, I care much more about myself and how much fun I'm having than the people around me feelings. I'm athletic and I loveee my hair. I'm so friendly I can talk to anyone, which also makes me very good at putting up a caring front. I'm a good person really, but I can be so oblivious to how I make the people around me feel. All I care about is how many people I can talk to and become friends with, rather than having a more meaningful relationship with the people already in my life.
You were a very angry person. You were someone who had a lot of anger towards me. This girl almost made her life mission out to get me. There were so many consequences of this negative relationship. It made me extremely unhappy. And I can't imagine it was good for her to have that much anger either. Anger can eat you alive and I think her having so much anger towards me made the people in her life distance themselves from her as well. And unfortunately, for her those people in her life came to me to make sure I was okay. Her anger drove her close friends away from her and left her alone.
ReplyDeleteAvery Gulgren
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ReplyDelete1. Cause and effect relationships. What is the cause for the discontent? What was the effect?
ReplyDelete- He is a bad person, that tries to ruin others' lives for fun.
2. What are the immediate consequences of this negative relationship? How does the relationship immediately effect your thoughts and behaviors as the main character of this story?
- The family is torn apart sometimes because of him. We all look past the bad things as much as we can, but sometimes there is still drama.
3. What are the long term consequences of this negative relationship? What is "really" at stake? What could ultimately go wrong?
- He has tried to threaten us.
4. Why should the reader of this piece invest their time and energy in this work?
- It can teach them a lesson on how to NOT treat others in the long run.
5. Why should we care and why do we care?
- We should care because this can be a big life lesson for many people.
In my work, the cause for disconnect was the lack of emotion and vulnerability we shared. I was so, for lack of better words, down bacd for this boy it clouded my judgement. I had basically waited around for him to tell me he liked me, but looking back I don't even know if he knew what it was like to like someone. It took me a long time to convince myself he was a lost cause because when we hung out it felt like something more. In the long run it was better for me, but it took a minute. I was sad, but also felt defeated. I had put in so much effort and convinced myself I would get something in return, and I was leaving with less of myself than I started with. It really put my self worth into perspective, why would I let some idiot influence how I feel about myself. I put my self identify on the line with the hope he would accept me, but it taught me how to put myself first.
ReplyDelete1. the cause for the discontent was because my old friend group made me feel unwelcome and like a burden to them, the effect was me getting left out so I just left the friend group entirely.
ReplyDelete2.the immediate consequence of this negative relationship was mental health issues that I suffered from. This effects my thoughts and behaviors thinking to myself that I'm not good enough, or there must've been something wrong with me if they didn't want to include me.
3. the long term consequence is mental health issues that have stuck with me to this day, as well as having a hard time finding new friends because of how my old ones made me feel. What's at stake is my mental well-being and happiness. What could go wrong is becoming mentally unwell again and going down the path of depression.
4. the reader should invest their time because it is a story that others can learn from to think to yourself how you might make someone feel before doing something. This brings awareness to mental health and looking out for your friends who might seem okay, but aren't.
5. we should care because mental health is a huge problem, especially in teens, and we need to be kind to others because we don't know what's going on in their personal lives, and one small negative action towards someone could result in their life being taken away from them by themselves.
1. Cause and effect relationships. What is the cause for the discontent? What was the effect?
ReplyDelete- Cause= This person thinking that they are always right and everyone else is wrong. Effect= Me feeling upset after every time I see her and the our encounters are now awkward.
2. What are the immediate consequences of this negative relationship? How does the relationship immediately effect your thoughts and behaviors as the main character of this story?
- Our group is no longer very cohesive in class which makes my thoughts and behaviors become angry very quickly because this situation shouldn't affect what we get done in class
3. What are the long term consequences of this negative relationship? What is "really" at stake? What could ultimately go wrong?
- My grade slipping up because a lot of our assignments are group projects
4. Why should the reader of this piece invest their time and energy in this work?
- It will provide the reader with an understanding of what friendships should/shouldn't look like and how quickly they can take a turn
5. Why should we care and why do we care?
- We should care because friendships/relationships are typically part of our everyday lives and they can very easily make a difference in how our mood changes
His fear and jealousy of everyone made him the way he was. He never knew how to be himself so he envied and bothered people who did know how to be themselves and have fun. Things were either his way or there was no way. Couldn’t ever take a joke because of his fear of everyone so he was very defensive and would rat you out. Would tell the teacher on you just for looking at him the wrong way. He always wanted to play games and sports with us until he started to actually play. He was always super rude to people when he was and wasn’t playing. We’d play too hard for him which always either resulted in him pouting and telling on us because we’re not getting him involved or he gets hurt and then tells on us. It always resulted in people getting in trouble. It was frustrating because we had to do a lot of group projects and other activities together and you never want to do anything with someone you don’t like. Every time he came around, people would always disperse because he was always looking to either get someone in trouble or just be rude to us so I didn’t like that, neither did anyone else. There were times where I’d find myself feeling bad until I started to talk to him or hang with him for a second, then I’d quickly realize why I didn’t like this dude.
ReplyDelete1. What is the cause for the discontent? : He’s trash - What was the effect?; : high taxes and gas
ReplyDelete2. What are the immediate consequences of this negative relationship? Constant anger and irritation - How does the relationship immediately effect your thoughts and behaviors as the main character of this story? It effects me because i constantly have to see and hear about them and yet only see positive when that’s not the case, now the other perspective does not bother me but rather when i am forced to see and hear or specific things shoved in face, i just genuinely hate that.
3. What are the long term consequences of this negative relationship? Downfall of the United States - What is "really" at stake? The USA - What could ultimately go wrong? - world war three, increase in no jobs + prices of goods + taxes + gas
4. Why should the reader of this piece invest their time and energy in this work? If the reader is typica;lily someone that is the other perspective then reading this would allow for them to see what the other side thinks and feels, and as well as if you have the same view it can help to improve your view or maybe show you that you do not completely agree with that.
5. Why should we care and why do we care? You should care because seeing all sorts of different perspectives allows you to help form your own opinions. We do care because it is something that not only affects me but it effects the entire; United States of America but also the world depending upon who is in that position.
1. There is no cause for why he was doing what he was doing but the effect is that it caused me not to like him at all.
ReplyDelete2. The immediate consequences is we went from being best friends to not friends and not talking at all and it was all his fault. It changed my behavior to not trust people as often and just kinda be on my on my own.
3. The long term consequences of this are probably going to be he’s going to regret it and I won’t be there for him and i won’t have anything regrets but yes it is at stake because i guarantee it will happen.
4. They should invest their time to see the damage they have brought and to learn to not do it to other people.
5. Honestly I’m not asking people to care because they don’t know the person I’m talking about but I’m asking people to not do what this guy did because it’s not right at all.